A parents' guide to soothing children's nighttime fears

Bedtime rituals, such as tucking in your little ones, reading a bedtime story, and saying goodnight, are often treasured moments for parents. However, what happens when the lights go out and the shadows become monsters to your child's eyes?

Why do nighttime fears arise?

Children's fears at night, often referred to as nocturnal fears, are a common occurrence in their development. Thought to affect over 70% of children at some point between the ages of 2 and 9, this phase is a result of their active imagination combined with the numerous cognitive and emotional changes they undergo as they grow. From the fear of monsters under the bed to ghosts in the cupboard to noises meaning intruders, these fears can manifest in various forms, leading to disrupted sleep patterns and bedtime struggles.

Impact on children

Nocturnal fears can significantly impact a child's quality of sleep, leading to fatigue, irritability, and difficulty concentrating during the day. In severe cases, these fears can escalate into nightmares or night terrors, causing distress for both the child and parents. Recognising and addressing these fears is crucial to ensure that your child feels safe and secure when it’s time to drift off to sleep.

What can parents do?

1. Create a safe sleep environment

• Lie down in your child's room at night. Can you see any shadows that might be causing the problem? Are there noises which might sound strange to your child?

• Offer a night light to alleviate the fear of darkness. Ensure it emits a dim light so as to not affect your child's sleep onset.

• Leave their bedroom door ajar at night so they feel less isolated from the rest of the household.

• Provide comfort objects like a blanket or stuffed animal to provide a sense of security.

• Comfort them in their bedroom, and ideally with them in their bed, if at all possible.

2. Establish a relaxing bedtime routine

• Engage in calming activities before bedtime, such as reading a book or listening to soothing music.

• Avoid stimulating content like scary stories or movies.

• Encourage positive thoughts and affirmations to help your child feel empowered and in control.

3. Teach coping strategies

• Teach your child relaxation techniques like deep breathing or visualization to manage nighttime anxieties.

• Ensure your child feels listened to. Don't dismiss or make fun of their fears.

• Whilst well-intentioned, be mindful that using things like 'monster spray' actually serves to make your child think you believe in the monsters to.

• Reassure your child that you are always nearby if they need you during the night.

• Look for opportunities to build your child's confidence during the day.

Understanding your child’s nighttime fears and addressing them with empathy and patience is key to helping them overcome these anxieties. Remember that this phase is a normal part of their development and will fade as they grow older. By providing a safe and nurturing environment, establishing a bedtime routine, and teaching coping strategies, you can support your child through this challenging but temporary phase.

If your child's nighttime fears continue, are severe, and/or occur during the day, it is worth visiting your GP in case there are underlying anxiety difficulties that would benefit from further support.